Why Can't We Just Be Happy For One Another?

Last week a friend of mine got offered a seriously great job. A job that I would one day like to have. And instead of being happy for her, I secretly wished that she didn't get it. So that I was still the one having the “cooler” job. It's hard to admit, but I was envious and didn't wish her all the best, a saying that we all know too well.

Once I realized what I was thinking, I felt stupid. More than stupid, I felt like I was kind of betraying her. For not wishing her happiness and success. For not being a good friend.

But why did I feel this way, even if it was only for a second?

Was it because I felt like she was doing better than me? Or maybe it wasn't really about her being happy, but it was rather about me being unhappy??

I think her getting the job and doing something with her life left me questioning myself and what I was doing. It made me realize that I am not where I want to be yet. Not that I know what I want to do with my life, at least not in detail. Which is probably another factor to why I was envious, she seems to be knowing what she wants and where she wants to be in life.

She seems like a real grown up.

Although, to be honest, I believe that the important word of that sentence is seems.

Over the years I've come to the realization that no one really knows what they are doing, they are just good at hiding their insecurities. Or stuck in their jobs, routines and everyday life.

As a kid I thought that my parents knew it all and had it all figured out. The perfect adults. Now I think that they were simply trying to do their best, and to this day I don't think that they have the ultimate answer to “how to be an adult” or “how to plan and live your life.”

Coming back to my friend and my own unhappiness and insecurities and living your life in general.

There is no right way on how to live your life. There is no definite answer or guidebook on how to be happy. Okay, that's not true. There are guidebooks out there. What I'm trying to say here is that everyone has to figure out for themselves how they want their life to turn out and what they want to do with it.

Also, I think that as with many things, luck and timing are important and probably way underrated.

I would go so far as to call myself a lucky person. Which, as already mentioned, doesn't mean that I'm happy in all parts of my life. But I know that I am where I am today (partly) because of luck and great timing.

After finishing school I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I was lucky enough to be able to go to LA for half a year. Once I was there, I realized that I wanted to do something with languages and movies and theatre, so coming back home I enrolled in college for a BA in linguistics with a minor in cultural studies.

My mom then told me she knew a guy who worked in film, so I got my first internship at a pretty big German TV series. This internship made it possible for me to work on a movie that is coming out later this year.

I really can't say that I haven't done some amazing and cool things in the last couple of years. Luckily, one thing led to another and led to another. If someone had told me in school that I would do things like that, I would have questioned their sanity.

I think the need to be the best in something is deeply rooted in our mindset, for example wanting to be the best in your class or winning the game of poker. It's probably something that makes sense from an evolutionary point of view. May the best one survive.

But nowadays, survival is about more than winning. In the western world, you (generally speaking) don't need to fight for your food. We don't need to fight each other. Rather the opposite.

Working together is what makes us great. Combining the strength of several people brought us to where we are now. Sure, Steve Jobs had great ideas. But, if he wanted or not, he needed the help of others to make his brand successful.

You can have the greatest idea ever, if you don't work with other people you won't make it far.

So don't be envious at people with the better job or the better car, bitter people won't ever be as successful and happy as those who encourage each other.

And if you're the boss, remember to not look down on your employees, cause one day the roles might be reversed.

Remember that even if you think people don't deserve what they have, they might have been just lucky and at the right spot at the right time. Something that one day might work in your favor.

Remember that everyone has to find their own way. What works for your friends might nor work for you.

Remember that no one has completely figured out how this crazy thing called “life” actually works. And if you do, please let me know! :)

PS: Sorry for the long read. If you actually made it to the end: thanks for reading, it means a lot!

"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." - Buddha